1984//no1DIED

JUMP! Shanghai

I had rented a pretty fly for a white guy 125cc Suzuki in Chiang Mai and was heading NORTH! my objective being to explore some of the Chiang Mai province and spend some time in the hidden away hill-tribe villages, [ rather than villages in and around Chiang Mai which were packed full of tourist day-trippers ]

I’d met a awesome woman in Chiang Mai who had an old Dutch friend that had spent a few months exploring the Chang Rai /Mai mountain provinces living in sheds, growing a beard and generally getting down and dirty. SOLD! A couple of calls later I soon had the basic information I needed, a shitty map, my trusty backpack, 40 bananas and so off I went.

Riding though the lustrous Thai landscape was pretty exhilarating especially being my first time on a motorbike and after just a couple of hours burning rubber I was crossing into the north of the junglous Chiang Mai province, elephant warning signs by the roadside and the odd waterfall here and there to wet my brow. [ Word of warning, if you ever do something simliar and the bike rental place tells you not to use 1st gear - DO AS THEY SAY. On one steep climb the bike was almost at a standstill so I decided to chance slipping down into 1st - HA! bad idea, unless you’re a budding motocross acrobat. Yeah, I finished in the ditch ]

Exploring the country lanes behind Chiang Dao I seemed to find the path which the petrol attendants at the last station had tried to point out on my torn-up far too basic map. I continued heading east towards the mountains and eventually crossed paths with a pickup loaded with a local family which I followed straight into the valley of the first of 2 villages. 

Looking up at the mountain to the north of the village (reminding me a bit of the creek from deliverance) one of the young local farmers suggested that it would take around half a day to trek up and that I could camp at the top. Spot on. It was already 2 in the afternoon so I headed further down into the village to the area where the Karen hill-tribe resided to try and find a local who fancied a bit of a stroll.  

Turns out there were 2 chaps from Chiang Mai trekking who were in the area that afternoon in search of new expeditions to add to their circuit. A local had already agreed to take them up to the second (LISU hill tribe) village, around a 2 hour trek and they were happy for me to tag along and so I left my trusty Suzuki and backpack in the hands of the local shop owner and headed straight off!

This landscape had also been ripe with opium growth until His Majesty King Bhumibol convinced the tribes to turn their attentions to more respectable crops. The LISU hill-tribe village, called Pang Tong, was part of the Royal Project set up around 40 years ago designed to provide a sustainable future for the hill-tribes, many of whom originated from Burma.

I had a wonder around and met a few locals, juggled some knives with a toddler and had a chat to a guy in a military jacket who showed off his home-made tattoos.  My guide Mai and I had some noodles and a beer before just the two of us headed back down to the KAREN village where I was going to spend the night..

Lu Gau was a local farmer who spoke pretty good English and invited me to stay with him and his family for a couple of days. I was sharing a barn with his son, directly over the chicken coop - In Thailand there’s always a chicken close by at the crack of dawn. It’s a good job I’m an egg lover.

The family was great and seemed happy to have me around to chat and ask questions about where I came from and that. I ate breakfast, lunch and dinner with them (rice, pork & vegetables across the board) and helped Lu out a bit in the kitchen, although I was happy just to spectate when the little screeching piglets were having their little pork janglers chopped off Aaya! But even then, being released they just seemed to scuttle off and get on with things, their little empty sacks stuffed full of herbs! A bit like the Thai people I thought, they just get on with things and always look on the bright side of life – at least I’m not bacon!

The kitchen was outdoors, obviously - as is most stuff in Thailand. Even when your indoors - you’re outdoors. Everything is made out of natural materials (mainly bamboo) and open air which really blurs the boundaries between indoors and out. It’s nice not having to worry about doors, closing windows (glass practically doesn’t exist) or keeping things clean – helps bring out the tramp in ya! =D

A stones throw from the farm was a little open counter which was the village shop and a kind of hang out point, mainly for drinking whiskey, eating spicy shit (along with their little mini bananas which are hung up like yellow chandeliers here there everywhere) and listening to the symphony of croaking frogs at sunset. I chatted to a couple of local drunks and offered my machete slinging guide Mai a drink before Lu came and got me for diner…

Lu’s son showed me his array of weapons - a crossbow and a Lock Stock style shot gun and offered to take me out hunting. I don’t think I had it in me to blast a little monkey off of it’s branch, I dunno maybe a gibbon, I’ve always been partial to a gibbon soup but I’d certainly be up for a Rambo style hunt in the direction of a wild boar – a battle to the death, loser gets eaten! Lu explained to me that most of the local farmers sold their crops at the market but some families had practically nothing and just survived off the land around them, perhaps then it would be a good thing if Chiang Mai adventures chose to host some of their treks in this region as it may inject a little cash flow into the community.

I bided farewell to the villagers, hoped on my bike and headed west towards a little town called Pai…

When not running away from big fuck off waves, Thai people generally like to chill. Pretty much everywhere.

The little girl seemed to understand that her mother was into something shifty, we’d been led down a dirt track on motorbike towards them, squatting down there behind a bush. Strange that it’s only the women who seem to do the dealing.

Before king Bhumibol convinced all of the northern tribes to grow vegetables, fruit & coffee instead of opium, it had been the main source of income in these northern provinces.
Now cultivation is down 85% also due to the big police crackdown which helps explain the ‘menacing’ band of outlaws we encountered walking back towards the motorbike. 

It was pretty hard to predict their reactions, I wasn’t sure if they’d laugh with me or stab me in the leg with one of their homemade knives, all apart from one of the gang that is - the smiley boy with the skin condition, who seemed to like having his picture taken.

As soon as the police patrol had passed, the outlaws were back in the ditch fishing out their hidden weapons and were soon back in action, patrolling the roads while we rode onto the waterfall.

At The River

The good life is out there somewhere so stay on my arm you little charmer //
Dei Contadini.

Talking to the young folks

JUMP! TelAviv

CHANG DAO// NorthernThailand

Thai Me Up Thai Me Down

The. British. Holidaymaker.

JUMP! Thailand